Frequently Asked Questions

All Questions | Questions and Answers

You might have questions. I might have answers. And if nothing else, you at least have options as to how you view the questions.

What’s your favorite cereal?
Lately I’ve been drowning Frosted Mini Wheats in organic 2% milk. I’m not sure what it is about organic milk, but it’s noticeably different to me. I put ice in my milk too. But not in my cereal.

What’s your availability?
Here is where I would insert a uber-geek, real-time calendar of my schedule. But that’s a lot of work. Give me a shout and I’ll consult my iCal for you.

How much do you charge?
It depends on the project, time involvement, etc. Give me a ring and let’s talk it out.

How long have you been playing?
I’ve been hitting since I was a little lad. Speaking of little lads, check out the little lad dance. Berries and cream anyone? Anyone?

What are your influences?
I just scrolled through my iTunes artists and plucked those that caught my eye: Muse, Jimmy Eat World, Rise Against, Christina Aguileria, Wyclef Jean, Evanescence, No Doubt, Thrice, Rage Against the Machine, Linkin Park, Fort Minor, Massive Attack, Gabriel & Dresden (most of their remixes rule), The Chemical Brothers, Avril Lavigne, Blindside, Britney Spears, Shakira, Guaco, Black Eyed Peas, Justin Timberlake, Maroon 5, Primus, Seal, Sting, 311.

I know. That’s a lot. I like music.

How old are you?
How old do you want me to be? Sorry… this one’s a secret.

Where do you live?
Phoenix, AZ. If I could choose between sweating or freezing, I say pump up the heat. I did, after all, hike Camelback Mountain in a leisure suit in 111 degree weather. I would relocate for a stellar opportunity, but the beauty of Bernoulli’s equation means I’m only one quick flight away from you.

Do you only do studio work? Or do you want to be in a band?
Both. I love the accuracy required in studio. I love the fun of a band. Although I must admit I’m pretty picky when it comes to the latter.

What styles do you play?
Rock and it’s derivations. Funk. Electronica. Latin (my current work in progress). Double kick stuff (another work in progress… “The Encyclopedia of Double Bass Drumming” is stupidly long. It scares me. And it motivates me a bit).

How can I get my Juiceman 2000 today?
Sorry… I’m all out of stock. But my front yard has some fruit trees in it. Maybe I could ship you a grapefruit.

What is your first-track-free policy?
My site should give you a solid feel for who I am and my capabilities. But maybe you still have doubts. Try me before you buy me. You get a free track… if you’re not hooked on me after that, I’ll depart from your sight.

What’s your position on name dropping?
Honestly I’m not a big fan of it, but it’s necessary in this industry. I do the majority of my name dropping on my music and testimonials pages. I must admit it seems to serve as a good gauge to a person’s caliber. Yet, simultaneously, it puts undiscovered talent in a catch-22. That’s a great book, but not a great position.

Why would I want to be on your mailing list?
Join my infrequently-mailed mailing list to keep a pulse my happenings. I'll only share what's worth sharing... so don't worry about me filling up your inbox (or your trash). Unsubscribe at anytime.

Why did you name your site drumninja.com?
First of all, someone in Germany owns christiantessmer.com. This discovery was disheartening. I wrote an email in German to this guy, but I never heard from him. My German must be pretty bad.

Secondly, christiantessmermusic.com is 21 letters not including dot com. That's too long. Zach Lind gave me the idea of drum ninja, and although it’s a bit silly, it’s memorable.